Author Tracey Rees speaks on being single at 40s

Author Tracey Rees speaks on being single at 40s!

I am romantic in the heart. I've always been a girl that always wanted true love. So far, I have not found it. At different times in my life I felt different from this fact. There were times when I felt rather disconsolate that my dearest dream had not come true for me. Other times I felt rather cynical: "Anyway, I'm better alone!" And in others I told myself that my expectations are too high.

Patience is something that I have always fought with and I continue to do. One of the reasons, I'm sure, behind my accelerated flight in novels that clearly would never work was my desire to find my soul mate. But this of all things is what can not be hurried, forced or produced in any way. Someone so far, someone to spend time with. This can be found very easily, I learned. But that special connection, someone who will enrich your life instead of bothering you or putting you in danger, is infinitely elusive.

There are a million great things about being single at my age. I am completely free: travel, see my friends, immerse myself in the work I love, do crazy things like musical theater courses on a whim ... My life is still full of love because I have fantastic friends, wonderful parents, the dog next door. .. But, of course, I know (to be in a decidedly non-cynical phase at this moment) that having that special person brings all kinds of wealth to a life that I can not have on my own. However, after having had so many bad relationships over the years, I know one thing with all my heart: it is better to be alone than with the wrong person.

While a right relationship is a joy and a blessing, an incorrect relationship undermines your confidence, drains your energy and blocks other good things from entering your life. We all have our ideas about time; What we want to happen and when. If I had the option, when I was younger, I would never have chosen to be single at this age. But when I was younger, I did not know what I know now. Thanks to Mr. (very) delayed appearance of Mr. Right in my life, I had the opportunity to explore different careers on the road to find the career of my dreams. I had the opportunity to get used to the intense and attractive process of writing a novel per year without guilt or distraction. I experienced the satisfaction and pride of buying my house, all on my own, without the help of anyone. And I gained strength and resources because I had to do it. These are all the gifts for which I am grateful.

But the best of being single at this age? Everything is still before me. Sometimes I still feel like a teenager, knowing that everything is possible. I have not solved it. I have not compromised my dreams. I'm not busy with the wrong person. Nothing is closed for me. The better my life is, the more important it is to find someone who values ​​it, who does not interfere with it. I knew myself better than I did when I was younger; I have developed in many ways. Although I have not always felt that way, now I know that things really happen when they are meant to. So, instead of worrying, I'm embracing the way I'll be ready to embrace true love when it arrives.

Image Credit - Ludwig Esser.